Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
