weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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