community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize