Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
