Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
