im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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