I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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