it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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