What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize