nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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