I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
