I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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