I could make wine with my vomit
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
3 2 1 whiskey
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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