I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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