Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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