well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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