So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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