Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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