It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
