omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think people are normalizing furries
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
