He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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