We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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