Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
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Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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