I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
