I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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