I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize