i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
