sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
