Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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