why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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