My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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