i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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