Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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