I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
now i know why i became what i already was.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
