On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
