my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
