Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
