I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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