i think my tv is drunk
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
