And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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