I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
