help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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