It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
