Don't you send me to vm
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
