Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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