Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize