Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
