your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
