i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
