I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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