so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
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so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream