he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.