Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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  (210): I've decided to bang my pen-pal. http://tfl.nu/dcyn
  Replies (35) Good night (3712) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it

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  (770): and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it http://tfl.nu/mhur
  Replies (3) Good night (948) Bad night (2455) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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  (757): I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis. http://tfl.nu/mahz
  Replies (33) Good night (742) Bad night (5650) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub

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  (503): you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub http://tfl.nu/rmdg
  Replies (10) Good night (605) Bad night (5648) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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  (330): 98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk http://tfl.nu/zq8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2501) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  WHY AM I NOT THERE?

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  (604): Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday (1-604): WHY AM I NOT THERE? http://tfl.nu/j17k
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.

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  (702): If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak. http://tfl.nu/8cng
  Replies (7) Good night (1316) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.

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  (830): I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate. http://tfl.nu/ytk5
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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  (971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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  (616): I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/as8y
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  That sucks

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!

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  (505): I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence (1-505): That sucks (505): It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee! http://tfl.nu/y3d0
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (184)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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  (315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8
  Replies (6) Good night (530) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

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  (239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n
  Replies (6) Good night (400) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am not dying my bush blue.

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  (203): You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though. (860): I am not dying my bush blue. http://tfl.nu/alon
  Replies (10) Good night (626) Bad night (477)

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