..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
