i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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