Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drunk is not a location!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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