I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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