have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
