I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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