So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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