It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
