so that wasnt chicken after all
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
