So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We're too hungover to prance.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
